Well this is going to be a personal blog post, so to the hardhearted trolls out there I say good day sir! (Thankfully they don’t read my blog anyway which remains a blissful secret to the wider world.)
I am back on anti-depressants, which feels like a failure but I suppose is a step forward after two steps back. I’m currently experiencing significant mood swings, tiredness, lethargy, aches, shakes, itches, twitches, nausea, loss of appetite and other side effects that I’m not going to mention. The drugs take at least two weeks to have their intended effect, but probably won’t kick in for months and all that time I expect these side effects will continue.
Going back on the pills is like returning to square one, saying its time to start all over again, building a newer me that can feel happiness. Its a sad state of affairs that this is an almost controversial statement, but I believe God wants us to be happy in this life, He doesn’t want us to be miserable and whilst this isn’t the garden of Eden I have to believe that God has a plan for us to find happiness in this life, not just in the next one. Humanity is God’s project, God holds all creation in existence every second of every day, all meaning is to be found in relation to Him and He loves us. So there must be some fun to be had at some stage.
Anyway that’s enough blabbering. In other news the Islamic world is being artfully whipped into a frenzy by a rather cynical bunch of demagogues. Its either that or the Islamic world is filled with people just looking for a chance at mindless violence. How can they not understand that the US government is not responsible for what some nutter posts on YouTube? I haven’t seen the video though from what I know of the early history of Islam even if the content of the video had been 100% historically accurate there would still probably be riots in Islamic countries. This vastly disproportionate response seems indicative of some kind of emotional displacement, an unwillingness to look back on the History of Islam with any objectivity.
I was reading about Salman Rushdie’s Satanic Verses and I was surprised to discover the central theme of the book was inspired by first millennium Islamic historical sources saying Satanic verses were uttered by Mohammed but struck from the Koran by divine miracle. Now I know next to nothing about Islamic scholarship, and these tales may well be apocryphal and heretical in Islamic religion. But I think the Fatwa against a novelist was again another overreaction against Islamic history being touched on in ways the Mullahs don’t approve.
Christian history isn’t perfect, it has to be waded through and tangled with. The crusades, the inquisition, antisemitism, conquest by the sword, simony, cases of religion being used as a tool of the state. These all have to be looked up, studied and understood, and often in close examination the Church isn’t anywhere near as bad as people mistakenly believe if you weigh sources properly and assess them for the potential for bias. But we can’t pretend that all the members of the Church have gotten through two thousand years of history without stain. If Islam has anything that guides the human experience in a positive way then that will survive any inspection of its history.
There was a recent documentary on Channel 4 about Islam, a relatively tame take on history. Even this was prevented from being screened publicly. There must be a gigantic wound in the cultural subconscious of the Islamic world that when anyone goes anywhere near its past it lashes out. They, like me, need some therapy.
Finally, in American politics news Mitt Romney is looking at polls and making wild swinging desperation comments. Maybe the election won’t be as close as I thought. Romney shouldn’t have been so presumptuous as to win the Republican primary campaign on a platform of being ‘Mr Electable’. Now he looks like Mr Insubstantial. Why can’t the Republican party pick a strong nominee? John McCain was a complete joke, Dubyah was too but still managed two terms worth of gaffes… Barack Obama is by no means accomplished and is still winning in the polls…