Beam me up Jesus?

Well I just had something strange happen to me, I had a long chat with a protestant convinced of ‘the rapture’…

Bizzaro, why was I so naturally apposed to it?

Well firstly I’d say there is a chance belief in the rapture could be presumptuous or prosperity gospel (belief that God wouldn’t permit Christians to suffer).  But my main argument and reason why its wrong is just that it simply isn’t a belief passed down from the apostles but a rather recent innovation, and not an innovation in a good way like a conservatory or a loft conversion, but an anathema, not part of the tradition of orthodoxy religion, like a toilet with a built in piranha pool.

Its funny how strong my aversion was, because belief in the rapture could potentially be harmless, but I guess disregarding the faith as it was handed down from the apostles will always result in disaster sooner or later, usually the former of the two. She was convinced because it “stood up to the most testing”… really, did it now… it reminds me of the scene from hotshots part deux when Topper dips his boxing mitts in sprinkles, jellybeans and gummy bears before the fight.

Then as expected we got to the other more traditional old chestnuts. I think theological discussions with protestants, to me, often feel like a Choose Your Own Adventure novel.  You answer one question, which takes you to page 123, then you answer the next question and get sent to 91, then the next, back to 1, then the next which sends you back to page 123, but if you’ve read 91 and 1 you can go to page 124 etc etc etc… All of Catholicism is linked, its called systematic theology for a reason! its where x relates to y which relates to z which also relates back to x.

So anyway, as per usual, we go bopping back and forth through the dusty pages of my brain so much and in the end as people often say. “Sounds like a lot of work being Catholic”…   well it is if you’ve just been asked lots of different difficult questions in rapid succession by a mischievous prot, and are then expected to give perfect answers off the cuff. And then after you’ve done very well and given rather sound ripostes your fencing partner decides they aren’t playing anymore… I should start my debates with prots with a proposition.

“If I can convince you that one fault you perceive in Catholicism is not true, or if I can convince you that there is one thing that Catholicism does better than you thought and makes more sense after I’ve finished will you go away and research Catholicism from Catholic sources with an open mind?”.  If the answer is no, then what are you afraid of? why are you asking questions when the consequences of being swayed by argument are, to you, so unthinkable? Anyway it wasn’t a bad conversation really, if I seem cranky its just because I’m tired and my head hurts, to bed with me.


4 thoughts on “Beam me up Jesus?

  1. Touch a nerve, did I? 😛 Also ‘prots’ sounds like a euphemism for diarrhoea. “That kebab gave me the right prots”

  2. Not really, I hope you take the spirit of the debate as it was meant. In kindness and the spirit of brotherly love 🙂 and also don’t throw in the towel when the going gets tough because once you get past the need to win points of argument, you might see that all I’m trying to do is offer gifts. So how’d you like them apples? 😛

    • I don’t ‘throw in the towel when the going gets tough’. (Your choice of imagery shows your underlying perception of our discussion as a battle, and I’m uninterested in battling anyone except Satan.) I gracefully exit arguments that appear to be unproductive, in the name of trying to preserve a good relationship between me and the other party. I was less interested in winning and more interested in you respecting that my worship style is different to yours and that I feel no need to change or add to it. A ‘gift’ that is repeatedly offered when the recipient has declined it ceases to be seen as a kind offering and instead comes across as coercion. But we have already established that, haven’t we, so there is no need to dwell on the subject. And I like apples much better than sour grapes, which was the point of me ‘throwing in the towel’ in the first place.

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