A life less ordinary.

Well another day, another hangover… I was watching the new(ish) Judge Dredd film on DVD last night and decided to have a beer, and perhaps it is a mark of how dreary the film is that said beer rapidly became eight beers. Anyway the resultant hangover does have me contemplating getting hypnotherapy to ween me off the bottle. Why do I go to get beer for the weekend on a Thursday night? its never going to survive in my fridge. Lets face it my fridge is like the first day of the battle of the Somme for booze.

In other totally unimportant news I’ve found a rather funny Catholic satire site called Eyeofthetiber.com  This piece tickled me no end. Yes it looks like I’m turning into one of those horrible gay activist types who argue with people about homosexuality not being a sin on Facebook with people who still earnestly wear their orthodoxy hats (Like I used to until very recently.) Why is it my life seems to be a constant journey from one thing to its diametric opposite? I used to be a hopeless lefty, now I’m grumbling about David Cameron not being conservative enough, I used to be a massive protestant, that died upon first contact with this nagging thing called history, I used to try to convince myself that I was the straightest arrow in the quiver, now I’ve had to face the fact that I am as queer as fuck… The other irony is I’m not really all that gay… I’m pretty sure I do prefer women, but then my gender identity is female, so I guess that makes me a lesbian. Ho hum I can’t win.

In other news of surpassing frivolity I have decided to dye my hair turquoise.  I wonder what effect this will have on my life? can doing something totally superficial enact change? Anyway I’m giving it a go.  I wonder what my parish priest will say when I turn up next Sunday to altar serve with hair like a son of Triton? This and I’m seriously considering joining a gym, I know its like the invasion of the body snatchers, what have I done with the real shinobi?! I have decided its time for me to realise the reason why my life sucks is me, this isn’t anyone else’s fault, I am to blame. I can spend the rest of my life in a well of depression or I can try to do something about it. Pillz won’t work, booze certainly won’t work, its time to activate the CHANGE EVERYTHING IN MY LIFE PLAN.

In the last few weeks I had also garnered a bit of affection (more a creepy obsession if I’m honest) for an internet celebrity called Comicbookgirl19, she is very hot, has a sunny disposition, and is into all things geek related. Frankly she’s the most attractive woman in the world… so she most certainly isn’t single. Sadly I also discovered she is into magick… why is it that so many people turn to half arsed paganism rather than a real religion? Why is it that esoteric gnosticism forever is the most popular heresy? People talk about karma like its a lovely fluffy idea, when the logical consequences of it as a belief are horrendous. Caste systems and the belief that if bad things happen to people they somehow deserve it.

Another thing that has been annoying me is the state of feminism in this day and age. People calling for a female Dr Who. Dr Who is a male time lord, I have no problem with the next series discovering a previously lost female time lord (or is it time lady?) but they do have male and female in their species and the Dr is definitely male, what next? a female Sherlock Holmes? The sad problem with Google is that it can instantly tell you that a witticism you just thought up has already been done, (and probably wasn’t that witty anyway). I’ve also been reading the women’s section of the Telegraph website. How patronising a label is that? is all the rest of the news for men and the women’s section where we parcel off the weaker sex to talk about knitting? (or porn and binge drinking as the case might be) Why isn’t there a men’s section? It would probably talk about porn and binge drinking too I suppose but surely its the thought that counts.

Another feminist dead end is all women’s shortlists in politics. They are guaranteed to reduce the quality of candidates because the percentage of people involve in politics that are female are miniscule. If we got to the stage where political party membership was even between the sexes and there were still as few female MP’s then that would indeed be sexist, as it is we are not. Here’s an idea ladies, if you don’t like the way the world is run get involved! If women want men to stop behaving like dicks then there is a simple solution ladies, stop sleeping with them! Its been a sad revelation in my life that the good guy very rarely gets the girl. Its the biker with commitment problems and a sexy six pack the girls swoon over and want to be the one that tames his chimp like desire for promiscuity.

And while we are at it surely complaining about internet trolls is like pushing on the tide, there is no solution to the problem of complete and utter philistines on the web, bar smart bombs that target malicious IP addresses. If you ever want to hear how far humanity has fallen play a multiplayer game on XBOX live, these people aren’t just misogynists they are complete misanthropes and they want the entire world to know how much hatred they have in their hearts for everything and everyone. Lets face it Jesus came to save humanity because the vast majority of humanity are horrible. On that cheery note I’m off to stumble bewildered through the dusty halls of the internet.

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