Gay marriage?

Yesterday I spent a significant amount of time perambulating with and conversing with gay Christians either at Yorkshire sculpture park or in the car on the way to and from said park. All lovely, a few more talkative than others (although maybe it was just me, I was operating on zero hours of sleep which is not good). We walked around the park, sadly not looking at enough sculpture, but more interested in talking. I was the only Catholic there to my knowledge, no surprises there.

The more I talk to gay Christians the more certain I get that gay love and gay relationships are as perfectly valid as straight relationships. It struck me that people who want to defend heterosexual marriage by attacking gay marriage have things perfectly backwards. Seems like “I like my toy so I’m going to throw yours out the window” to me, thoroughly childish thinking of the nastiest variety. If you want to defend heterosexual marriage, love your husband/wife, love your children, be a loving family.

Somewhere around 1 in 10 people are gay or bisexual, it has been thus since the beginning of time and will be at the end of time. This hasn’t stopped humanity from procreating. Complementarity of the sexes is all well and good, but what if God also created gay people and straight people, and what if gay love is complementary to straight love?

Gay people should never enter into crushingly depressing attempts at heterosexual marriage, living a lie, causing incredible harm to their spouse, their children and themselves. Therefore they are not a loss to the heterosexual marriage pool to begin with. Two people falling in love does not affect two other people falling in love, unless its adulterous. If people are so obsessed with non procreative relationships being evil then celibacy should be the first thing out the window.

The other psychological motivation for preventing gay marriage is the worry that being gay is contagious, that somehow at the first sight of two men or two women pledging love to one another they’ll suddenly be overcome with the desire to shag the nearest person of their own sex. If that is the case then I have good news for you, secretly you are one of us.

Gay couples can do lots of things, they can adopt children, they can work for the Church, they can serve the poor, they can do any number of things, and they can do these things just as well as straight couples. Just as good marriages can be about love so can good gay relationships. I was never massively on board with gay marriage, and I’m still not 100% convinced, but I’m beginning to lean that way.

The Christian ideal of marriage has developed over two thousand years, it is significantly different to the time of Jesus, which was significantly different to how it was in the old testament, which is where a lot of modern Christians get most of their ‘understanding’ of homosexuality from. What is to say that it won’t develop some more? But the survival of Christianity depends on straight people having more children, so if you are straight and you want to save heterosexual Christian marriage, throw your contraception away, or the Muslims will be taking over before too long. Talking of which here is a video about ‘moderate Islam’ for you to enjoy.


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