TFI Friday, election results.

Thank goodness this election is over. Having so many lefties of my generation on Facebook it is very easy to get a distorted view of how things might turn out, but all the polls bar the exit poll pointed towards a truly messy hung parliament with a possible Labour SNP coalition. Thankfully the most left wing Labour government since the 1970’s, propped up by an even further to the left SNP has not come to pass.

So then, some things of note.

The SNP got 5% of the votes and 56 MP’s, Libdems 8% of the vote and 8 MP’s, UKIP got 12% of the vote and got one MP. If they find a way to make proportional representation directly elect candidates then I’m game.

David Cameron “won” in a late surge, with the last second strategy of shouting “aaaaarg SNP”. That was not a positive campaign right at the end, and he has not won a big majority. Margaret Thatcher he is not. He will have to work very hard and listen to his backbenchers if he wants to govern effectively. Which is, hopefully, a very good thing.

My guess is the threat of an SNP/Brownite coalition scared the grey vote out of the woodwork. Demographically speaking this factor will not last forever. The revolution in modern healthcare has ensured this grey vote has kept the Conservatives in contention but nobody lives forever, almost everyone I know of my generation is left wing. David Cameron did give a good victory speech however. Hopefully single party government will be kinder to him, be better for this country and he can pass a constituency boundary reform that will level the playing field for the future.

The disingenuously named Libdems have received an almighty kicking. Huzzah. To all my Labour voting friends; I’ll happily raise a pint with you to their demise. Ed Davey and Vince Cable can jog on. Good riddance to bad rubbish. David Cameron will have to look for some other idiot to run the Energy and ‘climate change’ department, and he’ll struggle to find a more anti-business business secretary. Nick Clegg will have to resign as leader of his minuscule party but I’m sure they’ll replace him with someone equally loathsome.

In perhaps less obvious good news the SNP have a clear mandate to ask for constitutional reform and it will be impossible for them to have new powers in Scotland whilst they have votes on issues only effecting other countries in the UK. Better this process happens under a Conservative government than a Labour one. Labour would rush to give away the store to keep Scotland, the last bastion of half brained socialism, within the UK. The Conservatives have a vague understanding of the constitutional history of this land and are hopefully less prone to radicalism when it comes to tampering with the foundations of our democracy. Perhaps the Barnett formula can be scrapped at the same time, one can but dream.

The scale of the SNP victory might even temper Labour’s bowing and scraping to the Scots since now they have nothing left to lose. The SNP lost the battle that was the referendum but have won the war. Scotland will be independent, either through federalism or full independence, whether in five years or fifty. As far as I’m concerned the sooner Scottish taxpayers are the ones footing the bill for the SNP’s socialistic jingoism the better.

Red Ed will have to resign and I have a naive hope that better opposition might lead to better government. He will not be missed. Who was he again?

Ed Balls has been defenestrated by the voters. Oh what a beautiful day. That awful man had a major role in so much of Tony Blair and Gordon Brown’s demolition of this country. He was joint architect of this hopeless Labour opposition. Thank God for the sensible English men and women who showed exactly what they thought of him.

At the time of writing it looks like Nigel Farage will also resign. I’d have liked to see him in parliament, but it could end up being a good thing for his party. UKIP needs to move on from revolving around him. He has genuinely moved the political debate towards conservative values on several key issues. Thanks to him the legacy parties have had to start talking a modicum of common-sense on the EU and immigration. The EU referendum he fought for will most likely happen and may that be his final hurrah. May he have a long and happy retirement knowing he did his country a great service in the face of staggeringly biased media coverage.

On the other hand perhaps this is the end of the road for UKIP? maybe a Conservative government that provides a referendum on EU membership and that doesn’t have to pander to the Libdems will mean UKIP lose the reason to exist? time will tell.

The dangers of UKIP splitting the conservative vote didn’t appear as much as I feared but mainly because Ed Miliband was so pathetic. It did cost Esther McVey her seat and the irony was certainly not lost on her, she was the most chipper loser I’ve ever seen. Perhaps if Farage retires some kind of deal can be struck to avoid this in the future?

Anyway, a good result from an election that filled me with dread. I can sleep now in the knowledge that the destruction of this country will be somewhat slower than I thought only a day ago.

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