Foxhole haute cuisine

Lets start with the good news, yesterday was the 800th anniversary of Magna Carta Libertartum. The most influential ur document in the development of modern human rights. English common law is one of the greatest gifts we ever gave the world. It was Britain and America who clung to our God given liberties when Napoleon, Hitler and Stalin were stomping Europe under their heels. Never let anyone tell you we need the European convention on human rights to ensure our rights. We had human rights, and even better the English speaking world had an idea of freedom and the rule of law long before the European court of human rights even existed.

We helped give these ideas of freedom back to continental Europe after they spent the majority of the twentieth century ignoring them. If you are British, American, or Canadian you have a lot to be proud of regarding the inheritance of freedom granted you simply by being lucky enough to be born in your country. You certainly don’t owe your freedom to snooty Europeans who are still feeling guilty about the holocaust. Perhaps when you have to go back 800 years to find something positive to talk about that says something about the current state of my life but hey ho, that’s my idea of good news. Now on with the bitter cynicism you know and expect.

So then, it looks like Grexit might finally happen. Weren’t we discussing this probability literally years ago? The engineers of the EU superstate kicked the can down the road longer than even I thought possible. Their complete indifference to economic suffering of the Greek people is a sight to behold. Good luck to the Greeks, the best way to stick it to the Eurocrats who have helped wreck your country is to have a successful default, devalue your currency and attract the biggest drunken mob of tourists the world has ever seen. What’s left of the Greek economy will be able to export cheap goods the world over. Buy yourself enough time to build an economy built on fiscal sanity, there will be no alternative because nobody will be lending you any money for a while. I can’t find a link to it but Daniel Hannan said the thing the Eurocrats fear the most isn’t Grexit, its Greece leaving the Euro and recovering. Spain, Italy and Portugal will be watching with interest.

In other news the Vatican is about to release an encyclical on global warming. Here’s hoping it is as nebulous and unreadable as the last was. The Catholic Church has a history of not doing well when it comes to pontificating on matters of science I thought it was trying to avoid repeating. From the reporting of the inevitably leaked version it seems to be emphasising economic help for third world countries to make sure the cost of fighting manbearpig doesn’t fall on the poorest. I wish it would recommend economic help for people in first world countries. My bills have just gone up again. I am living in fuel poverty, it is no joke.

The gist of the economic focus does give me hope though. People might realise that the anthropogenic global warming myth was concocted by rabid greens to deliberately destroy industry to make us all poor. Because if we all live in shivering cold doing cave paintings then mother Gaia will go skinny dipping in joy or something… But it was embraced by energy corporations and rent seeking landowners because it has proven a fantastic way to take tax and bill payer’s money and give it to the rich. The ‘renewable’ energy industry’s complete reliance on subsidy has meant this has been one of the most lucrative perversions of capitalism the world has ever seen.

The result is a curious alliance of green fanatics and big energy companies both lobbying government to get ever tougher on this non existent threat. Its a mugging hidden by the biggest wall of lies ever built, motivated by misanthropy and greed, all of which are sins by the way, lets see if the Pope has noticed…

Finally we come to the issue of refugees. Recently some jumped up apparatchik at the UN has told Britain we need to take more refugees. I’m sorry but I didn’t realise Ireland, France, Denmark, The Netherlands, Spain, Germany, Belgium, Norway or Iceland were at war? Refugees are people who run from murderous Islamists in Iraq, Syria and Libya and turn up in refugee camps in Lebanon, Turkey, Jordan or Egypt with nothing but the shirts/religiously prescribed veils on their backs.

The world should help these people as best we can through international aid and military intervention to deal with the root of the problem. Though scratch ‘getting to the root of the problem’, we’d have to burn every copy of the Koran in the middle east which might prove controversial. Maybe if the Islamic world did more to help its Islamic brothers and sisters that would be nice, but somehow I doubt the Saudi princes will be selling their private jets any time soon.

So unless there has been a brutal and hitherto mysteriously unreported war between France and Italy the people who cross half the world to come to claim ‘asylum’ in Britain are economic migrants. If you don’t want the entire world and its dog moving to Britain, turning this country into the kind of hell-hole they were trying to escape from in the first place, we are going to have to start turning these people away. Of course if anyone wishes to send me as a war reporter to the front lines in Provence, armed with nothing but a Michelin guide and a few hundred euros a day to sample the foxhole haute cuisine, please be my guest.


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